If my life was charted out like the stock market, this cursed month of March would've showed the biggest downhill trend in the past few years.
First I lost the use of my main mode of transportation. No, not my legs you dimwit - I crashed my dad's car.
Secondly, I lost my hair. No, it's not male pattern baldness you doofus. I voluntarily shaved my head bald.
Lastly, I lost my identity and my travelling companion. Yes, my gym bag got stolen and together with it were my identity cards, credit cards and a bunch of cash. Also, my beloved iPod mini was cruelly taken away from me.
My handphone is gone as well, but since I've not exactly been current with my subscription payments, I've been weaned from it's oppressive grasp for the past week. As a result, its departure isn't as painful.
And I really hate it when my parents give me a whole big speech about me not being responsible when it's obvious that they are not exactly St. Parents, patron saints of responsibility and all things right themselves. I could go on and on about my hypocritical parents, but it is best not to wash thy dirty linen in public. But let's just say that if my parents were there when Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.", Jesus would've had two nice big unexpected gashes on the head.
Also, Whomever is the thief, I curse you and your family with never-ending pestilence and may your sons and daughters curse your very name and you will woe the very day you decided, in your cowardly ways, to covet my belongings. May your blood relations and people whom you hold dear perish before your eyes from horrible diseases and be ripped apart by savagery.
You motherfucker!
posted by stark @ 3:25 AM
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